Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
