i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
