I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
