oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
