I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
