If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
