Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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