I'm jealous of your bromance
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
