just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize