my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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