oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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