every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
