at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
