I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My first STD was from a foam party
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
