I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am midnight drunk by noon
It was confusing and full of hummus
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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