would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
