You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
