can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
