Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
