He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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