Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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