I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
