Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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