I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
