He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
