Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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