I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
