I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
