just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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