yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
