Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
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I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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