I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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