Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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