so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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