Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize