Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
