69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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