I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
