Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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