i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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