One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
