u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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