Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
