im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
