It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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