I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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