Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
