Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
