I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Best friends brother. Beat that.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
