okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
