Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
