I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
