ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize