My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
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She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
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