ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
