i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
