Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
