if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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