Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Randomize
