Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
