just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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