Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did you pee in the oven last night??
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
