So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
