Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
