So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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