I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I know her cup size but not her name....
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