Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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